How Chinese Netizens Describe Ugliness

9 March 2008

吼! 吼! 吼! Please take a look at me and the ice burgers I'm selling!

你长得真有创意.
Your face looks so creative

你长的很抽象
Your face looks so abstract

你长的真后现代
Your face looks quite postmodern

你长的很科幻
Your face looks so science fictional

你长的好象车祸现场
Your face looks like a traffic accident scene

这位大妈，把你脸上的分辨率调低点好吗？
Hi mate, can you please lower the picture resolution of your face?

Baby: 这位卖冰棍的大妈好象很凶很暴力.

Do the Right Thing

A showy and loud woman walks into a building and shouts at the clerk, "Hi, I'd like a double bacon deluxe burger, a pepsi, and chips."

The clerk says, "This is a library."

The woman realises her mistake, and whispers, "Sorry, I'd like a double bacon deluxe burger, a pepsi, and chips."

Life Wisdom #1

Yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving; then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.

Life Wisdom # 2

When you don't know what to do, walk fast (to anywhere) and look worried (about anything).