Jokes, jokes,
jokes
A Dummy's Bet
Two
guys were in a bar, and they were both
watching the television when the news came
on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about
to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet
you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy.
"Bet you $10 he won't," said the
second guy.
Then,
the guy on the television closed his eyes and
threw himself off the bridge. The second guy
hands the first guy the money.
"I
can't take your money," said the first
guy. "I cheated you. The same story was
on the five o'clock news." "No, no.
Take it," said the second guy. "I
saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't
think the guy was dumb enough to jump
again!"
A Dummy's cv
My first job was working in an
orange juice factory, but I got canned,
couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as
a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so
they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a
tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it,
mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a
muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef --
figured it would add a little spice to my
life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli
worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't
cut the mustard.
My best job was being a
musician, but eventually I found I wasn't
noteworthy.
I studied a long time to
become a doctor, but I didn't have any
patience.
Next was a job in a shoe
factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional
fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't
live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job
working for a pool maintenance company, but
the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a
workout center, but they said I wasn't fit
for the job.
After many years of trying to
find steady work I finally got a job as a
historian until I realized there was no
future in it.
My last job was working at
Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was
always the same old grind.
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