Joke, Joke, Not A
Joke in Fact
(We
provide free space here for multi-language
ads for any homeless beings; and we help
drafting ads too, for free)
The
Self-portrait of A Homeless Dog
丧家犬玉照
I hate any woman that is
beaultiful, 'cause in
comparison I'll be seen as so ugly;
I hate any man that is noble, 'cause in
comparison I'll be seen as so nasty;
I hate any mind
that is cheerful, 'cause in comparison my
spirit will be seen as so gloomy;
I hate any book that is
memorable, 'cause in comparison my
wirtting will be seen as so tawdry.
Allegedly I'm a professor at a
Chinese university,
But my soul is lost and I feel like a
homeless doggy.
I know I'm nothing,
So please allow me to bark at anything that
is commanding.
Thanks for your
understanding,
And one more thing, do purchase my new
publication: The Sound of My Howling.
俺恨美女，因为美女让俺显得无颜；
俺恨伟人，因为伟人让俺显得平凡；
俺恨快乐情怀，因为快乐情怀比出俺心理阴暗；
俺恨不朽名著，因为不朽名著比出俺才疏志短。
据说俺是某名校叫兽，
俺只知俺是只丧家狗。
俺文才不及李苒的一个零头，
俺武艺不敌子路的一个指头，
俺只能朝他俩中间吼上一吼。
各位老少爷们，俺娱乐大众免费伺候，
另：别忘了买俺的考古新书《叫兽原是丧家狗》。
Advertised
by Professor Zero the Nothing
Teacher:
The world is so dark!
Doctor: You forgot to
turn on the light.
Teacher:
I've turned on the light now, the world is
still so dark!
Doctor: You forgot to
open your eyes.
Teacher:
I've opened my eyes now, the world is still
so dark!
Doctor: Let me give
you a checkup ... Gosh, your eyes don't have
pupils - no wonder you can't see how the
Analects have helped Chinese civilisation to
shine for two thousand years. Tell you what,
you'll need to make yourself a pupil first,
or you'll keep fooling around and end up
being pathetic.
1. If I saw it first,
it's mine.
2. If I like it, it's mine.
3. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
6. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
7. If its broken, it's yours.
