Jokes, jokes, jokes

How the Hell Was Created

In the beginning, God created heaven and earth. Shortly thereafter God was required to explain why he failed to file an environmental impact statement.

At the hearing, the first question put to God was why he began his earthly project, to which He replied that He just liked to be creative. "Let there be light," said He.

Officials then demanded to know how the light would be made. Would it require strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire, no smoke will be resulted.

Officials then asked what was God's plan to make His environment sustainable. "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed. Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth," answered God

Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubongelic Society.

Everything went along smoothly until God declared that he intended to complete the project in six days. Officials informed God it would take at least 200 days to review his many waiver applications and environmental impact statements. After that there would have to be a public hearing, and then there would be a 10-12 month probationary period before....

At this point, God created Hell.

A New Scientific Discovery:
How the Garden of Eden Was Lost

In the beginning, God created heaven. Then He created earth with a garden. Shortly thereafter God was required to file an environmental impact statement. Which He did, and the project was eventually approved.

Billions years had past. Then one day God received a letter from the Universe Planning Department and was informed that after extensive experts examination and public consultation, they now decide that the garden is too small in size and too far away from the front door, therefore it is not qualified to be called GARDEN of EDEN. Instead, it has to be renamed as BACKYARD of EDEN.

And that is how the GARDEN was lost. So stop blaming innocent apple and snake.

P.s. When Pluto recently learned this new discovery, it allegedly commented:

世上本无事，庸人多自扰。

(Since Pluto has been kicked out of the G8 Summit - Giant-plants 8 Summit - it's got plenty of leisure time and starts taking up some hobbies, for example, learning Chinese, and that is why it speaks Chinese now)

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